Meet the Lawliets
by Doc Scratch
Summary: AU In which Higuchi's car crashed and the deathnote was destroyed in the resulting explosion. So Kira is no more, but Raito and L still exist... As their relationship deepens, and L's trust is finally earned fully by Raito, an unexpected scenario suddenly
1. Say What

A/N: **OK. L WAS AN ORPHAN. I FUCKING GET IT ALREADY. STOP TELLING ME.**

Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the plot for the fanfiction... which I shall cling to jealously, as it is all I have. -Commences with jealous clinging-

Summary: AU In which Higuchi's car crashed and the deathnote was destroyed in the resulting explosion. So Kira is no more, but Raito and L still exist... As their relationship deepens, and L's trust is finally earned fully by Raito, an unexpected scenario suddenly presents itself. LxRaito Crack!ish

Title: Meet the Lawliets

Chapter 1: Say What!?

It had been three months since Higuchi's car had rammed into the divider on the freeway and exploded into flames. By the time the firefighters had arrived and managed to stem the fire, all that was left was the twisted metal skeleton of the car and the blackened, barely-recognizable remains of one Kyosuke Higuchi.

Not even when his theory of Raito as Kira and Misa as the Second Kira had been 'proven' incorrect had L been so frustrated. Because he _had_ the proof this time... and yet it had still gotten away. He still didn't know what Kira's method of killing was. For a long while, L had suspected that Higuchi had yet another Kira in the chain, and that his death had been caused by the original Kira... but as days, weeks, and finally months passed with not a peep from the empowered mass-murderer, even L's suspicions became tainted with doubt.

Had the crash really been just an accident? Had Higuchi truly been the one and only Kira?

L's mind, and plenty of the evidence, stated otherwise. There had at some point been two Kiras, that was a fact. So what had happened to the second one? And if Higuchi had not known that Misa wasn't the second Kira, he couldn't have been the first, since the first and second Kiras had teamed up... Or had they? Had that final message from the second Kira been true?

This whole situation seemed to be forcing him to question everything he thought he'd known about the case.

Including, somehow, his feelings towards Yagami Raito.

Raito, oddly enough, seemed just as angered and frustrated as L. Though the rest of the investigation had begun to relax, even the ones who believed L subconsciously filing the case as 'closed', L and Raito seemed to be on the same page when it came to disbelief that the battle was over. This gave the two an escalated feeling of companionship that hadn't been present before, despite having been chained together. An absolute understanding and agreement ran between the two minds, ran deeper than friendship. And it was beginning to surface.

It didn't help L's inhibitions any when Misa left. The girl had been suspiciously heartbroken, her love for Raito obviously endured, but she seemed to have finally accepted that the relationship wasn't going to happen. Her departure had been allowed only because the proof L needed to keep her had run out. That and Kira really did seem to be gone... And if he was... if he was...

Raito wasn't Kira.

L had wanted Raito to be Kira, because he had wanted to be correct. He had wanted Raito to be Kira because it made sense.

He had wanted Raito not to be Kira, because he cared for Raito. He had wanted Raito not to be Kira, because in Raito, he felt he had finally found an equal.

Now, Raito wasn't Kira, and L was glad. Because he loved Raito.

And Raito loved him.

It was another two months before L officially declared the Kira case solved with Higuchi as Kira, and the second Kira as a mere fabrication by the first. (Since there appeared to be no other option.) Four days later, he and Raito moved away together. Soichiro was alarmed, and shocked, but in the end decided that there were worse fates for his son than a permanent career as an investigator and a homosexual relationship with the greatest detective in the world.

Besides, they still came to visit for the holidays. And Sayu was certainly amused by the whole thing.

On the Christmas two years after the end of the Kira Investigation, L told Raito his real name. Which actually had been the one he'd used to begin with. L. L Lawliet.

The Valentine's Day after this Christmas, Raito proposed.

And that's when things all went downhill.

"Raito... Of course I say yes... but... you're really going to have to meet my parents first." L smiled, maintaining his composure despite the happiness he was feeling. If only Raito could have claimed the same.

"Your... what!?"

TBC...

A/N: His what!? xD

lololololol ya! That's the twist! Woooooooo! See I've read a whole buncha fics that at some point discuss, sometimes briefly sometimes lengthily, L's past... and EVERY SINGLE ONE has had him as an orphan. So I thought... why is that assumption made? It never said that in the books... OMG what if his parents are alive! And just don't like to get involved in criminal investigations!? That would be awesome! And so this story was born... ok actually first the whole idea went throught the Yaoi-ification Program in my brain, and _then_ the story was born.


	2. Awkward

A/N: LOL omg I got sooooo pounced on. -Ouch- Ya people, I did read the series. I did watch the series. I _know_ Wammy's House is an Orphanage, mmkay? And actually I know that's why everyone forms the opinion that L is an orphan... It was a rhetorical question. Well that and if it was mentioned that he was in How To Read... I don't know if it was for sure, because _Book 13 is not available in America_. And I do not speak Japanese. No, I do not. I only know as much as I do about How To Read because I've done some research on it and talked to some people who've read it. So I'm not totally oblivious, but I'm no expert either. Whatever the case though... this is an AU for more than one reason. And also, Wammy's House may have been an orphanage, but unless it is stated otherwise in How To Read (In which case I would not know, so I apologize), there is no evidence that L was ever actually in Wammy's House. He could have met Watari some other way. OK!? Sheesh... Ahem, sorry about that. I just get sup-ar defensive sometimes. Cuz I'mma sensitive lil' whiner. Please just enjoy the story now, kthx.

In other news: I LOVE YOU REVIEWING PEOPLE! This is like, the most reviews I've ever gotten for a story on it's first day. It makes me soooo squishy and happy. ILY alllll! -Hugs and airkisses for everyone-

Disclaimer: I don't own Deathnote

Chapter 2: Awkward

"My parents, Raito." L stated, raising an eyebrow. Raito's shock was tainted by a surge of involuntary annoyance at L's apparent amusement. "After all, I've met your parents."

"Well yes, but... that is I didn't know... that you had... parents." Raito explained. L blinked once or twice, the small smile on his face growing a little.

"Did you think I had just suddenly manifested from the air, then?" The scruffy detective questioned. Raito blushed heavily.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it." He grumbled. L sighed.

"You are completely not fun sometimes, Raito." Raito sputtered a little, but L wasn't finished. "Anyway, I suppose I can see how you might have come to the conclusion that I am orphaned. Though really, you might have asked." Raito had no response to this. It was true, he could have asked... In fact the only reason he hadn't was he had thought it would be prying. After all, when one thinks one's significant other is parentless, one does not want to press it for fear of bringing up touchy subjects and painful memories.

"But... why haven't you ever brought them up before then? We visit my parents every holiday, but I've never heard of yours before." Raito pointed out after a long, but only slightly uncomfortable, silence. L shifted a little. Having been in an intimate relationship with the other man for nearly a year now, and having been in close quarters long before that, Raito could read the seemingly innocent movement as the expression of slight discontent that it really was.

"...My parents and I... aren't on the best of terms..." L began, hesitating more because he was trying to find the right words than from a reluctance to divulge. Raito was silent, not wanting to discourage him. "You see, they don't understand my work that well. Murders and criminal cases make them squeamish. They think I should have been an accountant. Or a veterinarian." Raito was vaguely thrown by this information, but it was a pittance compared to the overall realization of L's having parents who weren't dead or anonymous to begin with.

"I see... Although it's kind of ridiculous not to talk to your own child just because of his chosen profession." Raito said supportively.

"Oh, no. We still talk. And correspond through the mail service. I just don't visit very often, if at all." L elaborated. "However matrimony is a rather serious step, and don't you feel it's important to know the family of the one you are attaching yourself to? As you said, I have met your parents. Also, I have a feeling they'd be even worse to deal with if they didn't hear about it until the wedding... My brother might have some disparaging things to say as well."

"Your _brother!?_" Raito gaped. L nodded, then seemed to acknowledge the reaction.

"Oh... I probably should have mentioned him earlier. He _is_ a veterinarian, by the way." L said apologetically.

"Right..." Raito was, understandably, feeling a little daze.

"I didn't realize you would take it so hard..." L looked away, appearing indifferent to the average onlooker, but Raito could sense the faint disappointment in L's stance.

"It is a little... revelating. But, if it's important to you, than of course I'd love to meet your family." Raito smiled reassuringly, reaching out and pulling L into a warm embrace. L turned his face and planted a grateful kiss on Raito's lips.

"Thank you..." They pulled apart slightly, just enough for Raito to smile again, and then reciprocate the kiss. "It really is a lovely ring. I'll have to get you one soon..."

"We can do that on the way to your parent's." Raito laughed. "Where do they live, by the way?"

"America."

"...Oh... Okay..."

* * *

In general, traveling was much more enjoyable when you were doing it with the one you love. Especially if the one you love is intelligent, snarky, and rich enough to afford transport that is actually comfortable. True to his word, L had purchased a ring for Raito just after the proper travel plans had been established. Both rings were simple, seeing as how they belonged to males, being elegant, matching gold bands. This also happened to be some time after they had paid a short visit to Raito's family to announce the engagement. It went over rather well, even when Sayu produced bird seed from somewhere and persisted in throwing it at them when they weren't looking.

Now a contented L and a distinctly nervous Raito were being driven in a comfortable, expensive car from the airport to the house of L's parents. Raito had spent the greater part of the journey resisting his ridiculous urges to ask questions such as: 'Do you think they'll like me?' or 'So... your brother isn't like... huge and protective or anything, right?' It was as though instincts he didn't know he had were becoming active in the face of the new circumstances.

On the other hand, L was being very affectionate, probably due to an afterglow from the proposal... which aside from the whole shock thing had actually been rather romantic. Ish. As romantic as a male genius proposing to another male genius could make it without feeling like a huge cliche, anyway. Also, the sex later on had been really incredible...

"Raito, we're here." L poked gently at his lover's shoulder, and Raito stirred, not even realizing he'd fallen asleep during his musings. He looked out the window, and was greeted with a sight quite different than what he'd imagined.

Seeing as how L had the apparent ability to throw around figures large enough to feed entire countries for limited time periods, Raito had somehow conjured an idea of a large mansion. His own inherent apprehension had somehow worked a foreboding aura for the mansion in as well, perhaps located out in the country, some place where there were lots of thunder storms.

What he saw was a pleasant, light green, two-story suburban home with a modest lawn and a rather nice mini-van in the driveway. All it needed was a white-picket fence, and maybe a dog. Raito wondered why this didn't seem any less foreboding than his vision of the stormy mansion. L didn't give him enough time to figure out, simply seizing one arm and pulling his fiancee out of the car and up the walkway to the house. Raito offered no objection or resistance. After all, he had agreed to this, and it would make L happy.

Still, he couldn't help the brief flash of pure _panic_ that ran through him when L delicately reached out and pressed the doorbell. It was only his own knowledge that it was far too late to run now that kept him from bolting. Truthfully, Raito couldn't explain why the whole thing freaked him out so badly. He truly loved L very deeply, and he'd had several girlfriends with whom he'd performed the 'meeting the parents' ritual, so it wasn't like he had no idea of what to expect... and then he realized that was in fact, it.

He had no idea what to expect. Because this wasn't some girl he'd picked up and dated for a few days, this was _L_, the L, his L. And if L's own eccentricities were anything to go on, his family would be more or less unpredictable.

It took a total of two excruciating minutes for the door to be answered. The person who opened the door appeared to be a man, surprisingly, about Raito's own age.

"L! Oh man bro, it's been forever!" The youth hugged L with a fervor that had even the detective himself embarrassedly shoving the other off.

"Would it be too much to ask that you not suffocate me, Z?" L asked with his normal level of control. 'Z', as he was apparently called, grinned in a most un-L-like manner that actually was reminiscent of Matsuda. The youth was about L's height, though it was hard to tell since he wasn't slouching the way the detective always was. He had black hair that, while as messy as L's, was messy in a manner that seemed more deliberate than the other's. While not tan, he had a peachier skin tone than L, and had the same eyes except without the dark eye rings.

"Haha, you're such a goof." He waved a hand dismissively, in that annoying way some siblings have. "So who's this guy?" L sighed the long-suffering sigh of the older sibling.

"I'd rather save the introductions for when everyone is present. Mother and father are home, correct?" L asked passively. Z nodded enthusiastically.

"Ya. Come on in. Mom's fussing with her scrapbooks in the kitchen, and Dad's in there too, watching one of those National Geographic documentary things. They're gonna be really psyched..."

The entryway of the Lawliet household was as normally suburban as the outside, complete with shelves covered in little knicknacks and friendly pictures. Raito couldn't see any pictures of L though, and figured that was probably the work of the detective himself.

"Mom! Dad! Guess who's come to visit!" Z disappeared through a large doorway, and L followed at a more leisurely pace, Raito bringing up the rear.

"Is it Maxine again, dear? If it is tell her she's welcome to stay for dinner although dessert has almonds in it so her allergies might... Oh!" A small, somewhere-in-her-forties Japanese woman had poked her head out of yet another doorway that seemed to connect the sitting room area they'd walked into to the blue-tiled kitchen. The woman seemed to gesture to someone else in the kitchen, then quickly popped out, smiling broadly. A tall man with graying brown hair and large eyes came out soon afterwards, looking partly curious and partly resigned. Then he saw L and Raito.

"So, finally decided to get off your high horse and come see your old folks, eh?" The man chortled. The woman gave a light push to one of his arms.

"Be nice darling! L, it has been so long. Who is your nice friend? They aren't allergic to almonds are they? Z, don't be rude, go get some tea for everyone!" The woman chattered. L cleared his throat, and she paused. "Oh, right... wait a moment on the tea there, dear." Z stopped halfway through the kitchen door and turned around again expectantly.

"Raito, this is my mother and father, Kasumi and Gerald Lawliet, and my brother Z." L explained to Raito, then looked back at his family. "This is Raito Yagami, my fiancee."

Talk about dropping the bomb.

TBC...

A/N: No, I couldn't resist giving him a little brother. Shut up. I thought it would be good for some jokes... being the oldest child of three in my own household has proven to me that sibling jokes are only funny if it's someone else's siblings, but when it is... it's bloody hilarious. Also, I made L's mom Japanese because... L looks kinda Japanese, so... yeah. The Lawliets are all very intelligent, really, but they aren't all as serious as L. They prefer simpler, lighter things in life. Which is going to be very obvious. However this doesn't mean that they aren't very formidable, as poor Raito is going to discover... -Insert dramatic music here-

Review please! I really would like opinions on this, since I've become rather attached to it. Much love to ya all!


	3. Even More Awkward

A/N: Woooo new chapter... ya I'm being a bad girl... I should be working on the new chapter of Kooky right now... or at least finishing one of my other poor, abandoned stories. Oh well. This is more fun hehe.

And because people keep mentioning it... No, this isn't based on Meet the Fockers or Meet the Parents or w/e. That is where I nabbed the title from, but other than that... I can honestly state that any similarities are purely coincidental. Because I have never seen either of those movies.

On another note: Z is... just a letter I picked at random, and here's how: I ran up to the younger of my little brothers and demanded that he say a word, any word at all, the first one he thought of. I planned to use the first letter of this word as the name for L's brother. He said 'Laser' at which point I did a pretty good impression of that anime thing where they fall down on the floor exasperatedly. Then I wearily demanded he say something else, and he said 'Zebra.' So, there you have it.

More love for you reviewers! You're all my new favorite people, I swear. Really, unbelievably cool the lot of you. I apologize for my own defectiveness in not having the time and energy to respond to each of you personally, because you do deserve it. Just know that I do truly appreciate all of you for leaving your reviews, I get this magnificent joyous feeling whenever I read them. So thank you. So much.

Disclaimer: I don't own Deathnote... blah blah blah...

Chapter 3: Even More Awkward

There was an odd, vacuum sort of sound as both L's parents gasped at the same time. It was highly melodramatic. L's father sort of leaned back against a wall and seemed to be caught between hyperventilating and spontaneous combustion. Raito decided it was about time to politely say something to break the deadly silence, but he was beaten to the punch.

"You're getting _married!?_" Kasumi squealed in a manner that was disturbingly similar to Misa at her perkiest. Raito barely had time for an incredulous stare before the woman had hurled herself at her son making many motherly sounds of glee. "Ooooh! Have you set a date!? When did this happen!? Why didn't you say anything sooner!? Oooohhhh!!!"

Unfortunately L wasn't, as it turned out, used to being tackled. I guess even brilliant genius detectives can't really predict their mothers. He crashed backwards onto a comfy sofa with Kasumi still happily yammering something about catering and the virtues of early spring weddings. Raito's comments turned themselves into a surprised, slightly embarrassed, cough. L extricated himself from the cushions of the sofa and the maternal whirlwind.

"Yes. Actually we haven't set a date yet. Raito proposed yesterday. I didn't say anything sooner because I didn't know precisely what I would say." L answered her questions with his usual suave demeanor, indicating years of having dealt with a zealous, if not always prone to sudden hugs, mother.

"Well..." Gerald seemed to have recovered marginally. "Well... I... Well... I suppose we're going to have to write up invitations then... aren't we?" He cleared his throat once or twice.

"Perhaps. I was hoping for rather a small wedding. What do you think Raito?" L smiled.

"I hadn't considered as much, but I suppose that would be best, yes. If that's what you want." Raito agreed, working hard not to show his bafflement. Z had been rather quiet following the announcement, and this had not gone unnoticed. The other occupants of the room looked at him expectantly for some sort of reaction. He grinned, cheerily.

"So, which one of you tops?" He questioned deviously. This provoked several responses.

"Er..." Raito turned utterly red, completely lost for words.

"Z LAWLIET!!!" Kasumi shouted in the manner of disapproving mothers everywhere.

"Z that was highly inappropriate!" Gerald rebuked, looking slightly ill.

"If you must know, I do." L stated, notably unruffled.

Silence and several aghast stares. Then Z burst out laughing.

* * *

Some time later, the Lawliet family plus one fiancee/former mass-murderer was seated around a suitably inviting dining room table. There was a pleasant spread of tuna casserole, mashed potatoes, green beans, and biscuits on the table. The dining area was a painted a warm yellow with some friendly pictures that seemed mostly floral-themed placed here and there on the walls. A tangible feeling of Tense permeated the room as the occupants avoided looking at one another. 

"So, Raito was it?" Gerald was the first to reach the breaking point. Raito nodded, almost grateful for the end of the silence. "What is it you do?"

"Apparently L is the one _doi_-" Kasumi shoved a biscuit into Z's mouth, in an unexpected but extremely intelligent move.

"I'm a criminal investigator. I usually work with L though I do a lot of jobs with the NPA too. My father is chief of Japanese police." Raito said smoothly, wisely choosing to ignore the brief distraction.

"Oh. Well... that's very interesting." Gerald smiled painfully. There was silence once more, in which everyone desperately attempted to eat simply to have something to do. Except L, the only one who looked totally content with the situation, and who was enjoying his customary cake and overly-sweetened tea at his usual pace. Raito mentally searched for another subject, and received inspiration on his next bite.

"This is a delicious meal. Thank you so much for inviting me." Raito smiled, honestly. It _was_ very good food. Apparently this was the right thing to say, since Kasumi proceeded to beam feminine adoration straight at him.

"Oh, it's nothing." She waved a hand flusteredly.

"Ya, you should taste her chicken. It's out of this world!" Z input something helpful for once. "L never eats any of it though. Mom's always getting on his case about that."

"Well I just think a young man should have a more balanced diet!" Kasumi sniffed. "It's unhealthy, the way you're eating sweets all the time."

"If you use your head, you can eat whatever you like and still maintain your health." L replied simply, Raito recalled him having said almost the same thing to a certain blonde model some time ago.

"So you've proven." Kasumi sighed. She'd fought this battle many a time before, and had more or less conceded her defeat after the twentieth time when L still won. Raito was quite pleased that the atmosphere had lightened considerably. "You know Z, it's actually rather impressive." Z looked up with a mouthful of potatoes.

"Huh?"

"You're out socializing so often, yet L has managed to find himself a fiancee first. Really now, when are you going to find yourself a good wife?" Kasumi scolded lightly. "...Er... or husband." She tacked on, with an apologetic glance in Raito's direction. Z blanched.

"Mom I'm not gay!" He protested. Gerald choked on his sip of tea and began stammering apologies and bidding them "Don't mind me"'s between coughing. Raito looked chagrined, L focused intensely on his cake, and Z's face was firmly locked into an expression of horror. Kasumi, being a mother, proceeded to be singlemindedly ruthless.

"That's no excuse for not finding a wife!" Kasumi pointed out.

"Mom! Come on, give me time! I'm only twenty!" Z defended himself.

"All I'm saying is-"

"Ok ok, I got it! I'll um... I'll ask Maxine out! How's that? Ok? OK! Conversation done!" Z bargained desperately. Kasumi settled back comfortably in her chair, satisfied.

"It's about time." She smiled kindly. "Do make sure to give her flowers. And chocolates. But make sure there aren't almonds in them, you know how she's allergic to almonds..."

* * *

"Your family is very nice." Raito commented later, when Gerald had gone to find his newspaper, Kasumi was doing dishes (Raito had offered to help but she had sweetly and firmly blown him off in the way of proud homemakers the world over), and Z had carefully run to the phone to call this Maxine girl so as to prevent further attacks. 

"Thank you, I know they are quite a bit to take, at times." L smiled understandingly. Raito couldn't help but feel better. In fact, now that the worst of it was over, he felt rather relieved. Looking back, it hadn't been _that_ bad. The family accepted the relationship very well, in fact, considering the circumstances.

"Your mother is a very good cook... though, I am a bit curious about her fixation on almonds..." Raito admitted. L chuckled a bit.

"Maxine is the daughter of one of father's old friends. One time when they were over for dinner, mother made her chocolate cake with white chocolate almond icing. She didn't know then about Maxine's allergies, you see. Let's just say... it wasn't a pretty picture. Mother's been paranoid about people's allergies, particularly almonds, ever since." L explained. Raito grinned.

"I suppose that would do it." He replied. Gerald came down the stairs, and spotted the two seated on the living room sofa. L was in his customary crouched position, with Raito sitting next to him casually, an arm almost unconsciously wrapped around the detective's shoulders.

"Er... L, would you mind running up to your old room for a moment? You left one of your books there the last time you visited and Kasumi has been fretting over whether or not we should mail it to you... It would be a nightmare if it was forgotten again." The man suggested. L shot Raito a quick, 'My father's up to something but I'm not really in any position to refute him at this time, I'm sorry' look before slipping off the couch and padding carefully up the stairs and out of sight. Gerald turned back to Raito with a look so suddenly stern that the youth thought what a very nice thing it would be if he could simply disappear into thin air.

"So..." Raito coughed nervously, standing up. It seemed like a much better idea to face whatever was coming from his feet.

"How did you meet L?" Gerald demanded, obviously in no mood to beat around any bushes.

"Er. As I said earlier, my father is the chief of Japanese police... I was enlisted to help with the Kira Investigation. I was working with L during that and we... became friends and then... well..." Raito hoped that more explanation wasn't necessary, he'd already skipped over a great deal of details.

"L doesn't attach himself to people very often. But he's always been a very smart boy, so I'll trust his judgement... unless I see anything to convince me otherwise." Gerald stepped forward alarmingly. His glower was on a scariness level that no aging man whose most exciting hobby was National Geographic specials should be able to achieve. "Then I think you'll find that Kira wasn't all that frightening after all." Raito tried very hard to think of something to say in this situation. It wasn't looking good.

"I believe this is actually your book." L's voice from just behind Gerald caused both him and Raito to jump. Gerald spun, L was standing there looking, somehow, placidly disapproving in a way only L could really manage. The detective held out a small, plain paperback novel to his father.

"Oh... oh yes. You're quite right. I've been looking for that one, in fact, can't believe I didn't notice..." Gerald laughed anxiously, taking the book. L's hand flopped to his side, his expression not changing. "I uh... must be getting old... er... right... um... I'll just go, shall I? Yes..." Gerald beat feet out of the room in a frazzled manner.

"I apologize, Raito. But it is inevitable that he would have found some way to corner you eventually." L glanced at his lover, Raito found himself surprisingly forgiving.

"I'm just glad your brother wasn't huge and protective." Raito grinned. L blinked, his brow furrowing confusedly, as though the very idea was unfathomable for him. But of course nothing was really unfathomable to L, and he was soon chuckling again.

"Quite the opposite, as I'm sure you've deduced."

"Yeah." Raito embraced L affectionately.

"Hey guys... not interrupting anything, am I? I don't wanna get scarred for life here." Well, speak of the devil.

"Don't be childish, Z." L instructed.

"Well someone's got to provide the comedic relief around here." The cheery youth shrugged.

"I don't see why." L observed.

"You wouldn't." Z countered good-naturedly. "Anyway, you guys wanna come on a double-date tomorrow night with me and Maxine? We're going to go see that new movie that's out. Y'know, that action-thriller type?"

"That doesn't seem the sort of movie genre one usually goes for on a romantic evening." Raito pointed out. Z shrugged.

"Yeah well, that's Maxine for you. Not that I have any objections, mind." He said. "So you guys coming?" Raito and L looked at each other.

"We hadn't really planned on staying that long..." Raito began doubtfully.

"Actually." L interceded, and Raito just knew he could see a spark of mischief in the detective's eyes. "That sounds like a good idea."

"_Really?_" Z and Raito chorused, then looked at each other in surprise.

"Yes." L smiled. "What time should we meet up?"

TBC...

A/N: Ok, so the story may seem to be moving a little quickly... but then I didn't figure them for the sort to draw things out anyway. In fact I was intending to end the story with the end of the evening, perhaps tacking on a little Wedding Day epilogue if people wanted it. But this story has become a lot of fun to write, and I saw an opportunity to buy some more chapters. Please be sure to show your appreciation, or lack thereof. In other words, REVIEW PLEASE KTHX!


	4. Double Date of Doom

A/N: I'm baaaaack! Sorry for the long wait guys... I just kinda lost motivation for a while there. But I am back again! Yus! With a new chapter and a new character in it! Woo! Finally we meet Maxine! I trust I'm correct when I say she's not going to be what any of you are expecting... -insert dramatic music here- Anyway... enjoy!

Disclaimer: Don't own Deathnote.

Chapter 4: Double Date of Doom

At seven o'clock precisely, Raito and L returned from their hotel to the Lawliet household. Raito had, as was Raito's way, dressed up nicely for the date. L's wardrobe was pretty much the same as ever, but that's fine because he's L and is therefore awesome enough to get away with anything.

The door was answered this time by Kasumi, who was glowing with feminine goodwill.

"Oh! Raito-san, don't you look handsome all dressed up!" She beamed, "You certainly have good taste, L dear." Raito faltered. But L simply replied with a calm "Thank you." And they were herded into the living room to meet Z and the ever mysterious Maxine. "I'll just leave you kids to get acquainted!" Kasumi bustled off to places unknown.

Maxine turned out to be a petite blonde, her hair pulled into a ponytail through the back of a blue baseball cap. She had a lot of freckles, implying much time spent outside, and was dressed more like someone heading for the sports park than for a date.

"Yo, so you're L's man-bitch?" She waved, a smile far too innocent contrasting the words.

"I... I..." Raito realized he'd lost track of the times he'd found himself lost for words the past two days.

"No, he's my fiancee." L clarified, unperturbed as ever.

"Meh, same difference." The girl shrugged. Z appeared to be attempting to stifle his laughter. And failing. Fantastically.

"My name is Raito Yagami." Raito introduced himself, not so much lacking anything to say as hesitant to say it.

"Maxine Setter. Nice to meet ya, pretty boy." Maxine turned to Z. "So are we doing this shit, or what?" Z nodded, still snickering, and the group proceeded towards the door. Raito held L back for a moment. The detective gave him an inquisitive look, and Raito worked to summon up the words to express himself.

"She... what... She's not what I was expecting." Raito managed finally.

L shrugged, "Well she's really not that bad. Once you get past the foul language."

"Right... L, she called me your man-bitch." Raito stated, raising an eyebrow.

"I did notice that, Raito." L grinned. "Don't worry, you get used to her."

"I think I'm beginning to see why you're so odd sometimes." Raito sighed, giving L an affectionate peck on the cheek.

"Yes, well. At least you know my excuse now. We'd better hurry before-"

"Hey! Hurry up fags! We're not waiting all night!" Maxine's voice interrupted from outside.

"Er... right. I see what you meant." Raito winced, as they walked out.

* * *

They drove to the theater in Z's car, and the first part of the ride was surprisingly quiet. L was thinking quietly, Maxine had apparently brought a book along, and Raito was afraid to say anything lest Maxine be set off again. But then Maxine seemed to decide it was too quiet on her own.

"So you're from Japan, right?" She questioned suddenly.

"Yes." Raito answered politely. Maxine snorted.

"Knew it. Buncha fags over there."

"Could you please stop using that word?" Raito asked. There was silence.

"Why, it bothers you?" Maxine twisted from the front passenger seat to face Raito.

"Yes, actually. It's rather offensive." He stated. She stared at him expressionlessly for a moment.

"Kay then." She shrugged, to Raito's surprise, and swiveled around again. There was more silence, continuing for a longer period, but Raito had learned not to trust silences now. He was right.

"So, Z says you met on that Kira Investigation thing. Hell of a way to meet your lover, right?" Maxine said.

"I suppose it is." Raito answered calmly, shooting a glance at L, who made no move to enter the conversation.

"So what'd _your _parents say then? When you told them you were a fag?" Maxine continued casually.

"They took it rather well actually, they-"

"Ha! I got you to respond to it!" Maxine's pointer finger suddenly invading Raito's vision.

"W-what?" He blinked, confused.

"Fag!" She laughed.

"Dude, you're fighting a losing battle with this one." Z advised Raito from the driver's seat. "I'd recommend just giving in now."

"Wise words." Maxine nodded triumphantly. "Hey are we fucking there yet?"

It was going to be a very long night.

* * *

The theater was a relatively small one, not too many people were there either. So the tickets were purchased quickly, and seats were scouted for. Unfortunately, even on this slow night, there weren't more than three seats in a row to be found. Fortunately, they had Maxine on their side. She... uh... _persuaded_ a stubborn man that it would be healthier for him to sit somewhere else.

As the previews rolled and the movie began Raito couldn't help but feel relieved for the distraction. Even if the film was decidedly cliche, it was better than the rest of the evening so far.

They were halfway through the movie when Raito discovered how foolish he'd been to let his guard down...

TBC...

A/N: Yeah, you can all go ahead and kill me now. I know it was totally a jackass move for me to pull, taking this long to update and then posting this super-short chapter. But whatever. I wanted to leave it with a dramatic-music-worthy ending. Don'tcha just love Maxine?

Omg! What's gonna happen next!? You'll all just have to be patient for the next chapter, now won't you? -Insert evil laughter here-

Anyway yeah, Review now plz! The more reviews I get, the faster the next chappie will come! Promise!


	5. Ring a Ling

A/N: What to say... what to say... Meh. Better just explain, ok so normally my fics are like this, they take at least a month for me to get around to updating them... I'm not entirely sure why I was so faithful about quick/quickish updates till now but... Really I've done worse than this. Just look at some of my other stories, they haven't been updated in a _year_ or something. Anyway, STOP TELLING ME L IS REALLY AN ORPHAN! I _get_ it, ok? Sheesh. Can't a girl make a little mistake? Or as L would say, is that not allowed to a human being? And any orphanage scenes in the anime are totally unfamiliar to me, because I read the manga practically religiously and have only seen about the first twenty episodes of the anime. And no, I am not going to watch any more of the anime, because I read the manga and know how the series ends now and I am a stubborn bitch. So there.

On a less rant-y note, I am grateful to all of you who reviewed, seriously don't think I'm hating on you, I just get frustrated sometimes. But I love you all, really. And I sincerely apologize for the long wait. I'll try really hard to get the final chapters up more quickly. In the meantime, enjoy this one which I am going to make extra-crackalicious just to appease you patient fantastic people. Oh yeah and... no you guys that wanted to, you can't kill Maxine. Sorry. Keep sending me lovely reviews though, and I will arrange for something embarrassing and possibly painful to happen to her at the wedding!

Disclaimer: Still don't own Deathnote.

Chapter 5: Ring a Ling

You know those 'silence your cell phone' ads they show about thirty of before the movie starts? The ones that last like a whole minute and every dumbass who didn't turn off their cell phones on the way in is supposed to take that time to DO IT NOW OR BE LYNCHED? Yeah, those ones.

Apparently there are some people still who manage to not heed a single one of them.

The warning bells in Raito's head started going off just after the cell phone of the man two seats down. 'Walking on Sunshine' ringtone version played for about thirty tense seconds while the possessor of the cell phone pretended not to own it and prayed like hell that whoever was calling him would hang up. Finally he decided to just answer the damn thing and turn it off fast.

Unfortunately, it was far too late. Everyone in the theater was already pretty annoyed, and all it took was Maxine and one or two other overly-tempermental violence lovers to create a mob mentality.

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!?" Maxine hollered, causing the unfortunate Cell Phone Guy to jump about four feet in the air. Angry agreements flooded in, growing as people lost interest in the movie in favor of less fictional action.

"I-I'm sorry, it's just... probably important I-"

"BOOOO!" The theater except for L, Raito, and oddly enough Z, screeched. Maxine threw her popcorn at him. The whole tub. It made a nice bucket-hat effect on her intended target, but also scattershotted everyone sitting around him. The final trigger was the fourteen year old who probably shouldn't have even been watching this movie to scream: 'FOOD FIGHT!' And the war was on.

Raito dove under the seats, desperately trying to save his suit as almost everyone hurled food, candy, condiments, popcorn, drinks, and any other edible substances that they had bought, brought, or simply picked up off the getting steadily dirtier theater floor. Maxine was ferociously holding her own, Z was attempting to escape the battle but being constantly pulled back in by his volatile date, and L was nowhere to be seen.

Scratch that L was about two inches away, smiling peacefully into Raito's face.

"This doesn't bother you." Raito stated flatly. L shrugged.

"Better than getting a face full of nacho dip." He pointed out, pecking Raito on the cheek. Raito conceded this point.

"Are you pansies gonna join in or what!?" Maxine yelled down at them.

"No thank you!" Raito called back. Maxine shrugged and creamed someone with a package of bon-bons.

Twenty minutes, theater security, much confusion, and a whole lot of airborne saturated fat later the two couples along with everyone else who had been involved found themselves outside, and officially banned from the premises.

"That was fun." Maxine announced, brushing popcorn kernels out of her hair. "Where should we go for dinner?"

* * *

Raito's exposure to food fights had been decidedly lacking until this evening, however he gathered that it was unusual to calmly go to dinner afterwards. Nevertheless, the more he grew accustomed to L's family and their... friend, the less he thought things would be anything less than unusual from now on. And, strangely, Raito was ok with that. Sure he was apparently going to lose a few nice suits, but it was far better than a boring life, or worse a life without L.

He thought he was getting the hang of this too. The idea was to simply trash all expectations, because apparently they were all going to be refuted so might as well just prepare for a surprise.

"Maxine, don't you think that whole thing in the theater was... a little uncalled for?" Z ventured. His hair was sticky with cola, and he looked decidedly exhausted.

"..." Maxine thought about it. "...Maybe you're right. But that guy started it!" Z stared. Raito stared. L ate strawberry cheesecake.

"Alright, I'm sorry! I just meant for a bit of fun, I didn't mean to get you guys all dirty." Maxine sighed. Z shrugged. Raito shrugged. L ate strawberry cheesecake.

"Look dinner's on me, how's that?" Maxine offered.

"Sounds great!" Z grinned.

"Thank you." Raito nodded.

L ate strawberry cheesecake.

* * *

After dinner, Z dropped Maxine off at her place and they drove back to the Lawliet's.

"Guys..." Z began, as they exited the vehicle, "I'm really sorry. Maxine's pretty unpredictable, but I still know better than to have invited you."

"Misery loves company. We understand." L replied.

"We had free dinner, didn't we?" Raito smiled. Z nodded gratefully.

"Thanks. Hey if you need any help with anything, just let me know." He said, turning to go back in the house. The door opened and Kasumi sprang out.

"How did it go? Did you all have fun? Z, did you kiss her good night? ...Why are you covered in food?" She spouted question after question. Z, too tired to answer, merely shook his head.

"It went unexpectedly, but it was rather fun." Raito offered. "As for the food... unforeseen circumstances."

"I... see." Kasumi smiled, taking Z's arm to help him inside. "Would you two like to come in for a drink or to rest?"

"No, we'd better get back to the hotel." Raito smiled apologetically. Farewells were bid and the couple entered their own car and drove off.

"You knew it was going to be like that." Raito accused.

"Perhaps. Not precisely like that of course, Raito." L answered. Raito shook his head, an affectionate grin crossing his face.

"You're impossible L."

"That's why you love me." L retorted. Raito shot a glance at his lover.

"That's one of the many reasons." He agreed.

* * *

"I think August would be a good idea, don't you?" L was crouched in his usual position, a calendar sitting in front of him.

"Hmm... I suppose." Raito replied placidly. "Another thing to factor in is where we want to have our wedding." They were silent for a moment.

"Does it really matter?" L ventured.

"Probably not." Raito shrugged. "Maybe we could do the cliche thing and get married in Hawaii." He joked. There was quiet for a very long time. "L... I was kidding..."

"Oh." L looked back at the calendar. More quiet.

"L... Do you _want_ to get married in Hawaii?" Raito questioned. L looked back again.

"Yes, actually. I've never been to Hawaii." The dark genius stated matter-of-factly.

"Neither have I." Raito pointed out.

"Well of course not." L rolled his eyes briefly. Raito huffed irritably.

"Hawaii will be fine."

"In that case August is a good month, no?"

"I think anything that's not monsoon season would be a good month."

"Yes..."

"Although," Raito said thoughtfully, "August is awfully far off... Should we be waiting that long?"

"Well we need time to plan. And of course I think you should also meet the children." L replied, returning his attention casually to the calendar.

Silence.

Silence.

More silence.

Raito cleared his throat carefully.

"What!?"

TBC...

A/N: LOL just when you all thought you were safe... I STRIKE AGAIN! xDD

Guess who 'the children' are and win an internet cookie!


	6. Romantic Rivalry

A/N: LOL of _course_ the children are Mello, Matt, and Near! Sheesh just how crazy do you guys think I am? ...Don't answer that. xDDD No Linda though. She irritates meeeee. -Selfish- You people should be glad I'm putting Near in even xDD I **hate** him! Go Mello! And yes, all of you who guessed them/Wammy's kids get an internet cookie in the flavor of your choice! Enjoy! Oh, by the way... there was lotsa time passing going on in this story, in case you didn't notice, so Mello and Near are 17 and 15 now... I can't remember how old Matt's supposed to be xDD So unless someone can tell me then lets just say he's the same age as Mello.

Disclaimer: Really still don't own Death note.

Chapter 6: Romantic Rivalry

"I said that I think you should also meet the children." L responded, serene as ever. Raito blanched.

"You have _children!?_" The former mass-murderer barely managed to keep himself from shouting.

"I did not say that." L replied. Raito was quiet, thinking this over.

"Right... you said _the_ children." Raito realized, breathing a sigh of relief. Now with his thoughts better collected, Raito was able to ask, "So whose children are they then?"

"Well, they're orphans." L explained. "However they are being trained to be my successors, and I feel rather as if we are related."

"Oh." Raito smiled as understanding settled in. Obviously L would have wanted to have heirs, Raito wondered that he'd never thought of it before really. "That actually makes sense."

"Yes." L agreed, "Anyway, it has been a while since I've visited them, and I do believe this is an excellent reason." Raito considered. If they were being trained as L's successors they were probably geniuses, so it wasn't like he'd be walking into a regular daycare or something. This may not be that bad even. Certainly it couldn't be as... er... _interesting_ as this visit to meet L's parents had been.

"Alright, that sounds fine." Raito acquiesced. "So I assume we'll be visiting an orphanage then?"

"Exactly, Whammy's House. It's in England."

"...You certainly travel around a great deal, don't you?"

"Yes."

* * *

The airplane again, almost the exact same seats too. Raito found himself once more thanking whatever deities existed that he didn't have a phobia of planes, heights, or other methods of travel. Really it was kind of... fun, though. Being able to see so many fascinating new places, and with the one he loved no less. Plenty of people dreamed of things like this, and Raito was able to live it. He gazed affectionately over at L, who turned upon feeling that he was being watched and smiled back.

"So, what are these kids like?" Raito inquired as a conversation-starter.

"Not so very unlike normal children, actually. They play, they dream, they have ideas and hierarchies. Although they are considerably more intelligent and perhaps more mature than most children their age." L explained. "And they have their own oddities."

"What do you mean?" Raito asked.

"Well, Mello for example always has a chocolate bar in his hand. He's as addicted to chocolate as I am to sweets in general." L said. "And Near has a tendency to twirl his hair. Not to mention Matt, who seems to live in his video games more than the real world."

"They do sound like they'd make good successors for you." Raito laughed.

"If only they were better at cooperating with one another." L sighed. Raito raised an eyebrow.

"We weren't all that good at cooperating in the beginning." He pointed out. L placed his thumb to his lips thoughtfully.

"That is correct." The detective observed. "Yes... that is correct."

* * *

Mello was very happy. He was the kind of happy that causes juvenile cartoon characters to break out into song and dance. But that wasn't the sort of thing Mello did, no. He usually just ate more chocolate (if that was possible), smiled more often, and perhaps even played a game or two with his best friend Matt.

Unfortunately, there was one thing that could send Mello spiraling out of happiness into murderous intent faster than you could say 'denial.' That thing was generally called by the name 'Near' and was sitting, as per usual, on the playroom floor crashing a couple of toy robots together. And the soon-not-to-be-happy Mello was on a collision course with the small pale boy. It was all Roger's fault really. The caretaker had assumed it would be a good idea to send Mello to inform Near of L's visit. Really, the levels of pure Not-Smartness in that decision were astonishing.

"Hey freak! Guess what." Mello challenged as he blew into the playroom.

"Why should I?" Near questioned boredly, shifting his gaze to the blonde ever so slowly. Mello glared.

"Fine. Be that way." Mello turned to go and Near just barely suppressed a sigh of exasperation.

"What?" He asked.

"L's coming for a visit." Mello grinned. Near looked at him warily, unsure whether to simply be joyful at the news or to doubt it. After all, Mello had a tendency to be less than honest with the smaller boy.

"…Really?" Near raised an eyebrow curiously.

"Like I'd come all the way over here to say that if it was a lie." Mello rolled his eyes. "Seriously Near, give me _some_ credit." Near shrugged, secretly feeling a little guilty about the practically automatic suspicion. Then again, it's not like the scenario was without precedent. "Yeah Roger says he's got some sort of announcement to make or something. He'll be here later today." The blonde concluded. Near nodded, and gave one of his rare smiles.

"Thank you."

"…" Mello was quiet for a moment, slightly stunned. "Whatever, Roger made me come tell you." Mello proceeded to whirl around and push out the door quickly, successfully hiding the light pink blush that had formulated on his cheeks. For some reason, Mello was still in a good mood when he made it back to his room.

TBC…

A/N: Just a little sample for now, because I'm getting into dangerous territory regarding time, so I figured I'd better shove something up real fast to tide y'all over while I write up the rest of the story. But yes, there are going to be hints of MelloxNear in the upcoming chapters, so if you don't like that this is forewarning to Ignorepls! It's not gonna be too explicit, though it should be enough to please those that like some fluffy implications. Matt will show up too, I swear, I love him too much not to include him. Also since he's 17 now ficwise there will be smoking and jokes associated with that. It's gonna be awesome.


	7. Chocolate, Toys, Cigarettes, and Gay

A/N: Here I am! I'm not falling off on you guys again, really! xD omg I have soooo many new ideas all of a sudden now, some of which I've received from others and a good number of which are from my own disturbed mind. Meaning of course that I am eager to wrap this baby up so I can bombard you all with my newest crack children (one or two of which may even have a second parent! 8D) and finish my other fics. Dun worry tho, I won't rush. And this is by no means the last chapter... tho the last chapter is coming up pretty fast. Should be Chapter 8 or 9, since I've decided to include a 'Wedding Day' clip after all. Unless I get lazy, which is a dangerous prospect so do keep reviewing otherwise I will inevitably crap out on you all, because I need motivation since I'm a lazy bum. xDD

Disclaimer: Nothing is owned... by me, anyway.

Chapter 7: Chocolate, Toys, Cigarettes, and a Whole Lotta Gay

Raito woke up to L shaking him gently. Blearily, he blinked over at the dark-haired detective, who was casually nibbling on his thumbnail.

"Wha-I fell asleep." Raito sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"Yes." L shrugged. "I would guess that you are suffering from the effects of jet-lag."

"And you're not?" Raito inquired, still a tad groggy.

"I have become accustomed to traveling between time zones." L replied. "You woke up enough to walk off the plane to the car, but after that you were out again. It's been about six hours, we could have made better time but I felt I should let you have some sleep so that you might adjust better."

"L... you're not supposed to let someone sleep who's changed time zones. Then they _don't_ adjust." Raito explained. L blinked.

"Well, I don't sleep very often, so I wouldn't know." The detective pointed out.

"Right... so we're here then, I take it?" Raito stared out the window, examining the building they'd parked in front of. It was two-story, white, and had a sign a ways back that proclaimed the name of the orphanage.

"Yes." L nodded. "We should get out now, they've been waiting quite some time and Mello isn't exactly known for his patience." Raito looked over, opening his mouth to ask something but L was already climbing out of the car, so Raito simply closed his mouth and followed. Once again L was leading the way, up the porch and to the door. This time however, he didn't bother to knock, instead twisting the handle and slouching in with an air of total comfort. Raito deduced that L felt more at home here than he did at... well, at home.

"This way." L gestured to a side door, which turned out to lead to a sitting room. They entered and Raito received the indistinct impression of a black and yellow blur that attached itself to L's front in a tight hug before manifesting as a young blonde man dressed entirely in black.

"What the fuck took you so long?" The youth grinned, pulling back and ripping a chunk off his chocolate bar with his teeth. However before anyone could answer this first query, a redhead with goggles pulled over his eyes and a cigarette dangling from his lips interrupted from his place leaning against the wall.

"Who's the square?" There was a short, slightly awkward, period of silence.

"That's a new one." Raito laughed. L smiled, glad that Raito had apparently grown used to such treatment, since it quite clearly wasn't done yet.

"Boys, this is my fiancee, Raito Yagami."

And Raito had thought coming out to L's parents was awkward... this silence was of a length that would cause most people to simply walk out in the hopes that time had actually frozen and they wouldn't be stopped.

"You're getting... married?" A small pale boy that Raito hadn't noticed till now questioned from an armchair in the corner.

"Yes." L replied encouragingly. The boy blinked back with gray eyes almost as wide as L's own. If Raito didn't know better he would've sworn the two were related.

"To... this guy?" The blonde continued, his chocolate bar dropped and forgotten.

"That is what I said." L confirmed.

More silence.

"So..." The redhead broke in again. "...who tops?" Raito whirled almost automatically, slapping a hand over L's already opening mouth.

"_No_." He stated firmly. L's eyes met his, boring into Raito exasperatedly. Raito felt something hot and wet drag across his palm, which he automatically retracted. "You... _licked_ me?" Raito blinked disbelievingly. L gave a small grin of triumph.

"Yes."

"Dude. Owned."

Raito was seriously beginning to consider strangling that redhead...

"Matt, what have you been told about smoking indoors?" L asked, deftly changing the subject. Matt sighed.

"It's only allowed if I'm actually on fire." Matt theatrically pulled the cigarette from his mouth and tossed it into a glass of water some unfortunate soul had left on the coffee table.

"That was rude." The small pale boy pointed out, clashing together two robot-things he was holding. Matt shrugged.

"Ya, I've told him plenty of times that he's going to give himself cancer. Although if his shitty secondhand smoke gives me asthma then cancer'll be the least of his worries." The blonde growled, retrieving his fallen candy and tossing it at a wastebasket.

"Chill out Mello, it's not like I'm blowing it in your face."

"Might as well be."

"Hey I don't complain about your chocolate addiction."

"Chocolate doesn't fill anyone's lungs with tar!"

"Hmm... guess you got me there."

"Perhaps Matt would not feel the need to smoke if Mello was not so stressful." The pale boy ventured.

"Shut up Near! Who the fuck asked you anyway?" Mello huffed.

"You're just tempermental because you dropped your chocolate bar."

"No, I'm _annoyed_ because you won't shut your goddamn mouth!"

"That's quite enough." L interjected. Mello stuffed his hands in his pockets, looking surly. Near clashed his robots together again. Secretly, Raito was actually rather glad for the distraction, however strange the scene was.

"So when's your... uh... wedding?" Mello asked.

"August." L smiled.

"That's quite a ways away." Near remarked.

"No need to rush the planning period. Besides, we're getting married in Hawaii so special arrangements would need to be made so that all the guests might attend." L explained. Raito was feeling somewhat left out, not quite comfortable enough yet to enter the conversation on his own. However it was definitely better than the antics of L's parents now that the initial shock period was over. At least Raito didn't feel like he was being scrutinized or judged here.

As a matter of fact, Raito _was_ being scrutinized and judged. The case in point was simply that Mello, Near, and Matt were far better at subtle observation than L's parents. And unfortunately for Raito, he was being judged Unworthy. Not that it was really his fault, the orphans would probably have judged pretty much _anyone_ as Unworthy of L purely on instinct.

The good news? If appropriately convinced of Raito's ability to make L happy, the trio would probably back off. The bad news? That was going to take a hell of a lot of work, and Raito had yet to discover it was needed.

TBC...

A/N: VOTING TIEM! After posting this chapter, I'm going to create a poll in my bio (My first ever! -Squees-) Where you can vote for what kind of fun you want next. Please do go have a look! If you don't have an account, then just drop a line in a review. In fact, review anyway please! The more the better!


	8. PainFlavored

A/N: OMG I BROKE A HUNDRED REVIEWS! -Glee!- This is the first time I've gotten so many reviews on a story! I love you all so much!! In other news, the votes are in and... Raito gets to live. xDDD Well, of course all the options included him living but... apparently the majority of you would prefer him not to have a world of pain shewn to him. Why not? lol but w/e. Sorry to those of you who wanted much Raito torturing, I'll have to accomplish that in another fic... so do keep watching. I think I'm going to put up another, different poll tho... just cause I have discovered that they are mad fun.

Disclaimer: I do not own Deathnote or any of it's characters. Although sometimes I close my eyes and pretend I do. xDD

Chapter 8: Pain-Flavored

"So, what's the breakdown?" Matt asked, lounging boredly in one of the armchairs in his and Mello's bedroom, DS on lap and hands behind head. L was currently giving Raito a sort of tour of Wammy's grounds and rooms, the trio of successors were getting along uncharacteristically well in the face of the new Adversary. Near was seated on the ground as usual, one knee against his chest and the other splayed behind him, and actually seemed to be giving a reasonable amount of his attention to the conversation. Mello was pacing back and forth anxiously, treating one of his chocolate bars in the way a dog might treat it's favorite chew toy, only without the slobbering and with a bit less of the growling.

"L is apparently engaged to some stuck-up Japanese fag who wouldn't know a decent conversational topic if it hit him in the face." The blonde ranted, a little.

"And...?" Matt rolled his eyes, picking up the stylus for his game and tapping the screen a few times.

"Well, evidently L isn't fully aware of the repercussions." Near offered, sounding only slightly less bored then the norm.

"That's right! He's clearly blinded by his own affection!" Mello exclaimed. There was silence following this along with a couple incredulous stares. "Well, what're your explanations then?" No answer. "That's what I thought." He smirked.

"And the game plan is?" Matt raised an eyebrow from behind his goggles, though he didn't appear to look up from his DS. Mello cracked his knuckles menacingly.

"I say we show _Raito-kun_ that perhaps marriage is... unhealthy for him."

"Or perhaps we could simply respect L's feelings and accept Raito as-" Near stopped talking, for once the terrifying effects of Mello's glare reached him full force, and he was discovering just what it was that had made fully grown men whimper. It wasn't pleasant, though somehow it _was _oddly arousing. The albino shook his head slightly and decided to ignore that part of his brain from now on. Instead, he merely sighed and made a delicate 'carry on' gesture with the hand not entangled in his pale curls.

"Great, here's what I've come up with so far..."

* * *

It was very peaceful at Wammy's House, for a residence of numerous children that is. Raito found that he was quite enjoying himself as L showed him around, and was surprised to find that he didn't regret the trip in the slightest. However it was not long before Raito found that he had a rather pressing need to use the... er... facilities. Excusing himself tactfully from a conversation with L and Roger, the orphanage caretaker, Raito went in search of the bathrooms L had pointed out earlier.

Finding the bathroom was not a problem, entering it however turned out to be entirely another kettle of fish. No matter how much Raito pushed and pulled, the door would not give. Even though it was a multi-stall bathroom, so therefore the outside door should not be locked. Upset and with the call of nature steadily growing more insistent Raito made the only choice that was available to him.

He used the girls' bathroom.

It had a distinctly more pleasant aroma, and was overall tidier than he remembered any widely-used boy's bathroom being. There was also a distinct lack of urinals, but no matter. Raito successfully relieved himself, washed his hands, and was on his way out while thanking the gods that no female had felt the urge in that time period when...

"Oh my gosh! Who's that guy!?"

"Eewwww, that's the girl's room! Why was he in there?"

"Pervert!"

"Omigawd, someone get Roger! There's a pedophile in the orphanage!"

Stupid Murphy's Law...

* * *

"That went rather smoothly." Near remarked, sounding just the slightest bit surprised. "Considering he's supposed to be a genius as well." The trio were perched at the end of the stairwell, watching the drama around the corner.

"Well of course, desperation tends to set it at times like that." Mello sniffed, "it only makes sense."

"...Mello, have you ever...?" Near suddenly asked, sounding disturbed.

"No, but Matt has."

"MELLO! You promised never to tell!" Matt groaned, Mello shrugged.

"What? It's only Near. He doesn't talk to anyone anyway." Mello pointed out.

"Still, it's the principle of the thing." Matt rolled his eyes. Mello nodded slowly, his facial expression something along the lines of 'Uh-_huh_.'

Meanwhile Raito was attempting to explain himself before one of the girls ran for the authorities.

"No! Look, the boy's bathroom was locked, that's all." Raito desperately reached over and pushed on the boy's bathroom door to demonstrate. It swung open easily revealing white-washed walls and green tile. "Oh you've got to be kidding me." Raito swore in Japanese and the girls ran off in the direction of Roger's office. He followed after at a quick pace, hoping to intervene in time to explain himself.

"You've gotta admit, unlocking the boy's bathroom while he was still in the girl's was a stroke of genius." Matt said to Near, who grudgingly nodded.

"Mello certainly does have quite the exceptional grasp on acts of mischief."

"_Thank _you." Mello smiled, giving a mock-bow. "Now, your turn."

"My turn?" Near looked, ever so briefly, stricken. "I refuse to take further part in this." He asserted. Mello blinked, and smiled like a cat with milk. Near did not like that smile. At all. It... was _foreboding_.

"Near, do you like L?" The blonde practically purred.

"Well, yes. But that's why I think we should-" Near began guardedly, but did not get to finish.

"And if L gets married, how much time do you think he'll spend down here visiting us?" Mello cut in.

Dead silence.

"Do you still have that bag of water balloons?"

"There's a good boy."

* * *

"...and so that's what happened." Raito finished, faintly breathless. L and Roger shared looks. The girls sitting on the floor as though in a kindergarten class appeared skeptical. Except for one, who simply appeared resigned.

"Sounds like a prank to me. Lots of the boys are into pranks nowadays." She drawled. "Some of the girls too." She added, as an afterthought.

"Ah... well, that would make sense." Roger shrugged. "Very good Jada. You may all go now, this seems to have been simply a big misunderstanding." The girls filed out, most of them looking disappointed at the lack of police action. Raito's cheeks burned red with humiliation.

"Er..." He shifted awkwardly. "That was..."

"It's fine." L assured him, secretly amused at how cute Raito looked when embarrassed.

"Right." Raito grimaced. L didn't quite think there was anything sound just yet, but he had a sneaking suspicion that nothing was over yet.

* * *

Having decided to stay a few days and nights at Wammy's, L and Raito had settled down in L's old room later that evening. It was quite comfortable, and Raito had nearly forgotten the escapade of the early afternoon. Having suitably unpacked their things and freshened up, the couple planned on heading out to the nearby town for dinner. They had made it just outside the door when L found that his wallet was not in his pocket after all.

"Hmm... how odd. Perhaps I left it on the dresser." The detective muttered, sounding somewhat suspicious.

"No problem, I'll run in and get it." Raito volunteered chivalrously, but L shook his head.

"Don't worry, I'll go myself." L suspected a trap of sorts and did not want Raito walking into any such thing. Then again, leaving him out here alone was not a good plan either. However suggesting that they both go would only arouse Raito's curiosity, and the last thing L wanted was to scare his fiancee into wanting an early departure. "I'll be right back, so just go wait in the car." L figured that no one would dare mess with the car just to get to Raito, so his lover should be safe there. Striding inside with this comforting thought in mind, L left Raito to shrug and head for the car.

He didn't make it.

To be fair to L's calculations, it was a close thing. Raito actually had his hand on the door when he heard a strange rustling from the trees on one side of Wammy's House. Also, it sounded like someone was crying... Curiousity and a sense of sympathy crept upon him, and Raito decided a quick peek couldn't hurt anything. Strolling cautiously over towards the small set of woods, Raito found that the light from the building and streetlamps didn't quite reach over here. That was his first warning sign. Raito ventured just a little closer, and stopped, not willing to go into the trees themselves.

"Hello?" He called, "is someone there?"

A volley of round rotating objects was immediately launched at him. Raito recoiled, but too late, dozens of liquid-filled rubber capsule splattered over him, covering him in a substance that smelled a great deal like syrup. And probably was. Gooey, confused, and taken by surprise Raito made a run for the orphanage, wiping the condiment from his eyes as best he could. Tripping once, he slammed into the ground but soon recovered and was bounding once more for the house. He flung open the door just in time to see L reaching for the knob, and was treated to the rare sight of the dark-haired detective in Utterly Bewildered Mode.

"Raito... you're covered in dirt... and..." L brushed a finger lightly across Raito's dirt-free but sticky hair and placed it in his mouth. "Strawberry syrup!" Raito thought L sounded a little too pleased about the last part. Anyone walking by the copse of trees the bombardment had come from at that time would have heard a voice mutter "Uh-oh, backfire." before being shushed.

"So it would appear." Raito grumped, understandably not in the best of moods. "I've rather lost my appetite, I think I'm going to take a long hot shower and head to bed... I'll see you when you get back." Raito pushed the somewhat goopy keys to the car into L's hand, and stomped off up the stairs at the end of the hallway. L blinked, looking between the car and the retreating Raito. Apparently his deductions had been correct in that it was a bad idea to leave Raito alone. On the other hand, so far nothing overly malevolent had happened, Raito was a capable adult who could handle himself, and L was really hungry... Deciding that somethings couldn't be helped, L sighed and made his way over to his car, starting it up and driving off for the late-night bakery in the nearby town. Confident at least that Raito would be alive when he got back, if nothing else.

* * *

"Well, that one went down like a lead balloon." Matt remarked as the three orphans disentangled themselves from the bushes at the base of the trees.

"Not funny Matt." Mello groaned at the bad pun.

"I thought it was." The gamer shrugged. "And that idea to fill the balloons with syrup instead of water was surprisingly diabolical, Near." He congratulated. "Though we probably shouldn't have used _strawberry _flavor."

"I admit I didn't actually think of that." Near said hesitantly, brushing non-existent dirt off his impeccable pajamas. He had been sitting on Matt's back rather than the ground, and so had avoided the worst of Nature. Although he figured he would probably have to burn this pair of socks now. But it was worth it.

"Not that I want it to seem like I'm defending Near, but I don't think it made that big of a difference." Mello observed. "Regardless of L's reaction, Raito was still pretty well screwed over."

"Yeah, at worst we probably just introduced a new kink to their sex life." Matt shrugged nonchalantly, lighting up a cigarette.

Silence.

"MATT!" Mello cried in horror, smacking his best friend on the back of the head with enough force to cause the goggles to slip down around his neck.

"...ew..." Near tugged at a lock of his white curls.

"Ow!" Matt protested. "What!?"

"I did _not _need that mental image!" Mello shuddered. Near nodded, decidedly disturbed.

"Pssh, whatever. Prudes." Matt shrugged, taking a drag as they took the walk back to Wammy's. "So, my turn then I guess?"

"Yep. Show us what you've got, game-boy." Mello grinned, shoving the traumatising words of earlier out of his mind.

"Better hold on then," Matt rubbed his hands together eagerly, "this ain't gonna be for the faint of heart."

TBC...

A/N: I'm seriously going to have fun with Matt's idea... no really. I'm not ruining it for you guys but take it from me it's gonna be freakin' hysterical. Matt is such a fun character to write, omg. NO PITY FOR RAITO! HE DESERVES THIS! -insert evil laughter here- ...what? C'mon, I was kidding. I'm actually quite fond of Raito... I just express it in odd ways. Ways which usually include his pain and/or humiliation. 8D


	9. Don't Mess With the Gamer

A/N: Bad news guys, alot. My dad lost his job, and so my family has to move out of our house within the next two weeks. Also, we're low on money, so I won't have internet access comfortably for at least a month, maybe two. So this is going to be the last update for awhile. I'm sorry, but I wanted to give you all a new chapter as a farewell, for now. I'm copying this down for my other In Progress stories as well, so hopefully everyone that cares will know.

Disclaimer: Still don't own.

Chapter 9: Don't Mess With the Gamer

"Alright Matt, even I have to draw the line somewhere." Mello sighed, grabbing his best friend's arm. Matt gave him a wounded look.

"Oh come on." He said, attempting to tug free.

"No, Matt. Hair is sacred. We do not touch hair." Mello stated seriously.

"I wasn't gonna touch it! I was gonna shave it off!" Matt protested.

"You know what I mean." Mello was apparently without humor for this subject.

"Fine..." Matt conceded, putting the razor back into the closet. "Hey wait what if I just dyed it a little bit?" Mello stared.

"Hmm... I suppose that would be acceptable."

"Wicked!"

* * *

Raito sighed in contentment, scrubbing soap over his arms and rinsing it in the delightfully warm water that sprayed from the nozzle. It was good to be clean. He'd spent roughly twenty minutes just reveling in the water streaming over his body and washing away the dirt and syrup, and now he reached for his shampoo. In it went, Raito massaged it deep into the scalp so as to dislodge any syrup that may have dripped down through his locks. Raito was quite proud of his hair. Lather, rinse, repeat. That was how it went, first the shampoo then the conditioner. Ah, bliss. Raito was so preoccupied, in fact, that he didn't notice a black gloved hand deftly switching a few of his precious hair-care products with almost identical bottles. Identical in every sense, in fact, except for their contents.

* * *

"Well, that was traumatising." Matt announced, wiping his slightly damp glove on his jeans as he came out of the room. Mello and Near had been waiting in the hall.

"It was your idea." Near observed.

"And a bloody brilliant one too." Matt said defensively. "I'm just saying I do not need to see other guys naked, am I right?" Mello and Near instinctively shot each other awkward glances, then quickly looked away, shocked that the other had had the same thought. Fortunately Matt didn't notice. "Anyway, lets head to bed. If we're all asleep when L gets back and the fun begins, we'll seem less suspicious."

"Good point." Mello agreed, "So, see ya later Near."

"Right." Near nodded, and slipped off in the direction of his room, wondering about awkward glances and innuendo and what Mello might look like in the shower. Except you didn't hear that last part. No, you _didn't_. Shut up.

"This is so gonna be the win." Matt grinned, throwing an arm around Mello's shoulders in a brotherly manner as they made their way back to their room.

"It's not a contest, Matt." Mello rolled his eyes. Matt shrugged.

"So? If it was I'd totally win. I'd own you guys." The gamer grinned. Mello shoved him down the emergency stairs. There were a number of thumps, a few squeaks from Matt's boots sliding across the tiled steps, and one or two shouts of pain. Mello just kept walking, not pausing long enough even to hear the faint "...ow..." that trailed up the stairwell. Matt would be fine. He was used to it.

* * *

It was a very happy L indeed that came back into Wammy's house that evening. Arms full of various sweets he hadn't been able to resist purchasing for later, the detective re-entered his bedroom with a smile on his face.

"Raito? Are you all right? I brought you some pasta, since you don't like cake... for some reason..." L muttered something that might have been 'insanity' under his breath.

"I'm fine!" Raito's voice echoed from the bathroom. "I'll be out in a moment." He sounded like he was in a better mood. L had noted many times previously that Raito always seemed to be in a good mood when he came out of the shower.

L walked over to a table in the corner, and set his armload down upon it. He then walked over to the bed, gratefully kicked off his shoes, not really caring where they landed.

"Hey, L. What kind of pasta did you bring?" Raito asked, coming out of the bathroom.

"Seafood Fettuci-" L stopped mid-sentence, his already wide eyes grew to an incredible size and his thumb dropped from his mouth, his arm flopping to his side. Raito blinked, instinctively looking behind and to the sides of himself, confirming that he was the cause of L's freezing.

"Uh... what's wrong?" Raito ventured. Wordlessly, L raised a hand, and pointed at Raito's head. "That's not exactly helpful you know..." Raito felt his face, verifying that it was all there and in more or less the same shape. Finally, L recovered his vocal cords.

"Your hair." He stated, and almost immediately Raito shot back into the bathroom, wiping the steam from the mirror to see what had been done to his precious-

"OH MY GOD MY HAIR!"

* * *

Mello was not fluent in Japanese, and even if he was Raito's yell didn't maintain it's clarity after the filter of several walls and a carpeted floor. Nonetheless, Mello of all people could tell that scream, the desolate cry of one who loves their hair and has suffered an attack on it. All those with gorgeous hair know this sound, and Mello was no exception.

"Well, sounds like it worked." He told Matt. The gamer grinned.

* * *

"It's really not that bad." L comforted.

"Yes it IS." Raito sobbed, clutching his hair. "It's... it's... IT'S GREEN! And not even solid green! I wasn't trying to apply hair dye, and now it's all choppy and uneven and-and GREEN!"

"It doesn't look permanent, at least." L offered. This didn't seem to help much. Of course, L was reasonably certain there was only one person in Wammy's who could have done this. Actually, three people, but they were likely to be working as an organized force. "Raito, are you going to be alright? I think I need to go have a... talk... with some people." L's only answer was a distraught whimper. "I shall return shortly."

The detective loped easily out of the room, heading for the room of the two most malignant suspects.

TBC...

A/N: Rather unoriginal, I admit, but oh-so-evil. Wouldn't you agree? Making it green was sort of a tip of the hat to Matt's 'official' colors, which I hate but whatever. We'll say he's actually a redhead who went through this phase where he dyed his hair green for awhile. But Mello, like a good friend, cured him of this. 8D

Sorry, I'm trying to cheer myself up a bit... I'm gonna miss being here... -sobs harder than greenhair Raito- I will return though! I promise! It's just a matter of time... Do review please, it'll help keep my spirits up (since I'll still be able to check my email at school, even though is banned from the school computers)


	10. Sincerity, or Lack Thereof

A/N: New chapter again! I've decided to keep writing and posting as long as possible before my internet is shut off. However if suddenly the updates and messages and whatnot cease without further warning... well, hopefully you'll all know why. I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH! For reals, I mean, 135 reviews!? -Splees- This is just... phenomenal for me. And you're all such darlings about it too, it's incredible. You all keep me eager to write, and it really feels nice to know that so many people appreciate my work so much. And the way you all just accept my soon-to-be absence... Really guys, thank you. I'm more grateful than I can accurately describe.

Disclaimer: Do not own.

Chapter 10: Sincerity, or Lack Thereof

Mello and Matt were lounging comfortably in their room, Mello munching on chocolate and reading a book in German, Matt tapping away at his video game.

"Hey look I caught a shiny pokemon!" The gamer indicated the screen of his DS triumphantly.

"That's nice, Matt." Mello quipped absently.

"Hell yeah it's nice, do you know how much these things go for on eBay?" Matt slumped happily back into his seat.

"Mmhmmm." Mello flipped a page of his book. From their door came a few firm knocks, and when they received no opposition the door handle turned and the door slipped open.

"Oh, hi L." Matt said as innocently as possible. L stared. Matt shifted uncomfortably.

"Why have you two been tormenting Raito?" L asked bluntly. Matt coughed.

"Uh, what makes you think we've been tormenting Raito?" The redhead tried.

"Because Raito has been tormented, and you are quite obviously the perpetrators." L replied. Matt winced. Mello glanced up, took one look at L's face, and decided they were busted.

"He's a total prat." Mello announced, taking a chomp out of his chocolate.

"He can be at times, but on the whole he's a good person." L countered. "That is no reason to play nasty pranks on him."

"Yeah, but he thinks he can just get away with marrying you. He doesn't deserve you." Mello growled.

"Even were that true, and really you cannot say that for sure since you have only known Raito for a few hours and are at any rate biased, I don't recall ever asking you to look out for me in such a manner." L said. Mello shrugged. "If my guess is correct, Near is involved in this too?"

"How'd you know?"

"The syrup balloons didn't seem quite your style, and the hair dye was clearly Matt's doing." L replied. "Three pranks, three perpetrators. It isn't that hard to figure out."

"Right." Mello sighed.

"What I want to know is how you convinced him to help." L continued.

"I might have hinted that you wouldn't be visiting as much once you were married..." The blonde muttered dismally.

"You know that is not true Mello." L smiled, walking over to hop up into one of the chairs in the room and assume his usual crouchlike sitting position.

"Sure, you say that now, but what about when you actually are married? You'll be all wrapped up in precious Raito-kun, you'll probably forget all about us." Mello grumped.

"Now you're just being ridiculous." L pointed out. Mello rolled his eyes, pushing himself to his feet.

"Maybe it sounds that way now, but I've seen crap like this happen before. Remember Lamia? Yeah, she was one of the few kids who actually was allowed to get adopted around here, and two months later they sent her back after the couple officially tied the knot." Mello explained.

"That's true. She's still here now, even." Matt confirmed helpfully. L mulled this over for a while. Mello, sensing that they were gaining ground, searched for more material.

"Not only that, but even when you are around, he will be too. And he'll start talking to us all condescending, like he's better than us or something." The blonde simmered angrily at the very idea.

"Matt, would you go get Near please? I think we all need to have a long talk about this." L suggested. Matt nodded, snapping shut his DS and exiting the room. L and Mello waited until the gamer returned with Near trailing behind him. Once everyone was present, L began again. "First of all, I want to make it clear that none of this was necessary. I don't know what you all were thinking, but the next time you have a problem you should just tell me rather than attack my fiancee." Mello, Matt, and Near shared a brief guilty glance. "Now, to put your fears at rest, I will not be ending or decreasing my visits. Also, I doubt very much Raito would _want_ to come back with me on a visit after all this. So you shouldn't worry about that either."

"Sorry..." Near murmured, twirling a lock of hair slightly more fervently than usual.

"That's the final thing I wanted to say. I'm not the person you need to apologize to." The three orphans looked up as one with expressions of horror, not a doubt in their minds as to what was coming next. "You all owe Raito a very big, and sincere, apology." Near made an involuntary sound of disgust. Matt gawped, looking vaguely ill.

"NO! No way!" Mello snarled. "Jeeze, it's not like we even did any permanent damage! That dye will wash out in a few weeks." L raised an eyebrow.

"I hardly think that's the point. Anyway Mello, I'm not giving any of you a choice in the matter. You will apologize to Raito, preferably tomorrow before I can no longer convince him to stay." L instructed. "I believe our talk is over now. Frankly, I had thought you were all a bit old now to be demonstrating such behavior. Although I understand your motivation, you do still need to make right your actions." The detective left. The room was now filled with a morose silence as Mello, Matt, and Near each tried to come up with a method of apology that was as non-humiliating as possible.

L thought he might have been a little harsh, but considering he'd have to spend the rest of the night listening to Raito's whimpers... Well, he felt he was justified.

* * *

"I swear L, I'm going to kill them if we stay any longer." Raito stated darkly.

"There's no need for that. It's not even permanent dye." L did his best to placate the furious man.

"That's not really the point, L." Raito sighed. L rolled his eyes.

"We will leave later today." L said, "there's no need to rush. They aren't going to bother you anymore." Raito grumbled something, but seemed to accept this. He and L were heading for the outdoors, since Raito was rather fond of taking walks for some reason. L didn't like going outside very much, but felt that considering the circumstances, it was best to humor Raito a little. As they passed the door of the first floor playroom, a small white being suddenly intercepted them. There was a little period of silence with a heavy sprinkling of awkward as Near stood there, twirling his hair. "Yes?" L prompted.

"Well, that is, I..." Near cleared his throat, "I apologize for my actions yesterday evening, they were uncalled for, and rude." With that, the boy turned and wandered back into the playroom. Raito and L stared after him, until L gave Raito an elbow in the side.

"Oof! What?" Raito glared. L nodded in the direction of Near.

"He made an apology, you should accept it."

"Why? You probably put him up to it." Raito huffed.

"If you do not accept it, you risk offending him. Do you really want that?" L asked, he looked Raito in the eyes carefully. Raito thought, and he gulped. Tentatively, he walked into the playroom and approached the small boy on the carpet amidst a miniature city of dice.

"Er, thank you. For your apology." Raito said. Near gave a small nod of acknowledgement, and Raito hurriedly rejoined L in the hall, eager to get outside and away from this creepiness.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Raito and L were in the kitchen eating lunch. They were just settling into a nice conversation when the light tromp of boots sounded outside the hall, heralding the arrival of a certain volatile, chocolate-loving blonde. Mello entered the kitchen with the air of a person one snide comment away from murdering several people. Raito would not need to be told to accept this apology. Casually, surprisingly so, Mello walked over to the fridge, pulled out a carton of milk and, flipping open the top, leaned against the counter and drank what was probably about half of it in one gulp. Impressive.

"Sorry about yesterday. Probably did go too far." Mello drawled. He took another drink from the carton of milk, which Raito found marginally disgusting.

"Uh... sure, no hard feelings." Raito smiled nervously. Mello grinned, tossed the now-empty milk carton in the garbage, and sauntered out of the kitchen. "Should he have been doing that?" Raito asked, meaning the whole 'drinking straight from the carton' thing.

"Most likely no." L admitted. "However with Mello it's best to choose your battles." This was something Raito _had_ noticed.

* * *

Evening had arrived, Raito and L were finishing up with the packing of their things. Not that it took long, they hadn't brought much. The bags were together, waiting to be taken out to the car. A hesitant knocking sounded on the door.

"Come in." Called L. The door creaked open, and a nervous-looking Matt stood there. There was a trepidation filled period of no one saying anything. Raito controlled his instinct to murder Matt.

"So uh... sorry about your hair, man." The gamer scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. "I didn't think it would bother you that much..." Raito twitched, involuntarily. He looked over at L, fully prepared to demand permission to reject the apology. Oh shit... L was making that face... that one face that somehow looked really hopeful and disappointed at the same time. With those huge dark eyes staring at him. It was really just wrong, people with eyes that huge had an unfair advantage in the puppy-face department. Raito sighed. He knew when he was beaten.

"It's alright. The dye will wash out eventually." Raito conceded. Matt flashed a relieved grin.

"Thanks, you're alright. For a square." Matt flipped them a lazy salute and strutted off whistling what sounded like the theme song for a popular game.

"You owe me so much for this." Raito growled at L, who just smiled.

TBC...

A/N: Next up, the wedding day clip! ...unless you've all decided you don't want it. In which case this would be the end.

Don'tcha just love Mello and his total disregard for people who aren't him, L, Matt, or Near? xDD ...well, I do.


	11. Here Comes The

A/N: Ohhhh-kay so... yeeee-ah. I be late, I know... and I am supremely sorry. Truly. I just got caught up with... stuff. Like preparing to move (which my family _still_ hasn't done. My dad has a new job, and so I guess we're staying for a few more months or something. Gah, I dunno.), finishing up the school year, and becoming engrossed with Heroes and Doctor Who. Ya, I am now unhealthily fixated on Heroes and irreversibly in love with The Doctor. Particularly the Ninth. I mean, I adore Ten too, of course, more than words can tell... but I really, _really_ love Nine. Loads. Err, but you guys don't care about that so... um, yeah. I'm sorry for being so late with this final chapter. My utmost apologies.

Disclaimer: Don't own Deathnote. Or anything else that may conceivably be copyright to a person other than me.

Chapter 11: Here Comes The...

"I'm not wearing a dress. I _refuse._" L stated firmly, pushing aside the yards of lacy effeminate nightmare with visible disdain.

"Oh, and you say _I'm_ no fun?" Raito huffed, hugging the article of clothing closer protectively. "Come on, it's pretty." L turned an incredulous gaze on his lover.

"So then why don't _you_ wear it?" He questioned. Raito blinked, then looked aside thoughtfully. L rubbed his temples, feeling a headache coming on for the first time in... well, probably his whole life. Raito was intelligent, no doubt of that, but sometimes he could be so... soooo...

"I don't think I have the hips for it." Raito replied, looking back down at the dress. Yeah. That completed L's thought nicely.

"Raito, your hips are perfectly lovely. And I am not wearing a dress. Ever. Remove this fantasy from your mind." L instructed, finality in his voice. Raito let out a deep, long-suffering sigh.

"Fine." He folded up the dress and placed it back in it's box. Lifting the thing up he headed for the door, muttering under his breath.

"What? What did you just say?" L blinked over in amazement, Raito paused halfway out the door.

"Uh... nothing." He replied uneasily.

"Odd, I could've sworn you just said 'Now I owe Sayu fifty bucks' in an irritated tone."

Raito turned bright red and hurriedly exited. L shook his head and went back to writing addresses on invitations.

* * *

"You're not supposed to see the bride before the wedding. It's bad luck." Raito said, straightening his tie and glancing over his shoulder at L. The dressing room was quiet, the noises of the crowd outside muffled by the thick walls. L was, as a rarity, dressed in a tux. He was still barefoot, but Raito forgave him that. It _was_ pretty hot out, being Hawaii, and Raito was rather tempted to ditch his own shoes.

"So you're the bride then?" L raised an eyebrow.

"No." Raito rolled his eyes, "But you coming here means I see you, obviously." A brief silence. Then,

"Why must I be the bride?" L asked curiously.

"Because I'm the one who proposed." Raito stated matter-of-factly.

"Ah..." L trailed off, "but I'm the one who-"

"If you finish that sentence then I swear you will walk down the aisle with a black eye." Raito growled.

"So abusive of your bride, Raito-kun. How coarse." L quipped. Time was, Raito would've groaned and perhaps felt the urge to bang his head against something. Now however, on the day of his wedding, he turned around to look at L. L, who was leaning casually in the doorway, his face serene but a playful smile dancing in his coal black eyes. And Raito laughed. A gentle, affectionate sort of laugh entirely unlike the manic explosions of his former serial-killer self.

"You're such a weirdo, L."

"And yet you're marrying me." L placed a thumb to his lips thoughtfully. Raito crossed the room in a few quick strides, and placed a hand on L's shoulder lovingly.

"Yeah. I am. Guess that makes me a weirdo too." He leaned in, so that his breath brushed L's lips as he spoke. "Quite the pair, aren't we? A couple of weirdos... Couldn't be more perfect, could it?" L's eyelids slid down until only a sliver of his heated gaze shone through.

"No." He whispered, "I don't think it could."

The wedding band began to play.

* * *

"So then, and you're not gonna believe this, but then Mello goes up to the guy all 'Well if that's not it then why the fuck _did _you stop the car?' and the guy's like, no seriously, the guy's like all embarrassed and he says 'I... thought you were a hooker.' Man! Can you believe that!? And you shoulda seen Mel's face, he was all-" Matt's drunken story, which he was telling to a very interested Sayu, was cut short when a pissed off Mello dumped the punch bowl over his head.

"It was dark! That car was going like, forty miles an hour!" He protested. Sayu erupted with giggles, and a beaming Matt pushed his wet bangs out of his face.

"Man, this ish like... the greatest wedding reception, man. Open bar, Hawaiian sunset... Hey, hey Sayu." Matt slurred, "Guessh what I saw?"

"What?" Sayu asked as Mello stomped off furiously, probably going to bitch at Near, who was seated at a table close to the dance floor.

"I saw, no seriously, I totally saw a monkey over there." Matt pointed at a small copse of trees a little ways away from the party.

"Ohhh, really?" Sayu raised an eyebrow, sarcasm heavy in her voice. Matt grinned widely at her.

"Tooootally. Hey, you wanna go check it out?" He asked hopefully, pushing his goggles down around his neck. Sayu looked up into his shining, happy eyes.

"Aw what the hell, you're adorable. Sure, lets go." She took his arm and the two disappeared behind the softly waving palms. Nobody else noticed them leaving because Near, who hadn't known that the drink Matt had ordered for him earlier was alchoholic, had just started frenching an astounded but not objecting Mello.

"It appears that we are no longer the center of the attention." L murmured to Raito as they sat in their seats at the main food table. The wedding cake was just about gone, and Raito would've sworn that at least half of it had been into L's mouth.

"Yeah, who would've thought?" Raito shrugged.

"Actually I found it rather obvious." L observed, taking another bite of his cake.

"Well, I suppose you have known them longer than I have."

"True." L smiled slightly. A peaceful lapse in conversation settled over them, the fading sunlight warm against their faces, the cool scent of the ocean overpowering the dinner set. The background of tinkling glasses, dancing feet, and soft music was a gorgeous setting. L felt a sudden nudge to his arm, and glanced over at Raito. "Yes?" Smiling seductively, Raito slipped something out from under the table. A bottle. Of strawberry syrup.

"Hotel room?" Raito offered lightly. L looked up, locking eyes with him.

"I should say so." He responded.

Silently and gracefully, the newlyweds rose and slipped away.

END.

A/N: Short, I know but... Well, I did say Wedding _clip_. And no, your brains are not deceiving you, I did slip in some Matt/Sayu. FEAR MY INSANITY. xDDD I dunno, I saw the opportunity and was just like 'When the hell am I ever gonna get a chance like this again?' So I went with it. The Mello/Near was inevitable, it's my OTP of all time, so of course it was gonna happen. And yes, this is the end. I'm sorry for those of you who would like more but... well, all good things must come to an end eventually. Hope you all enjoyed it! And please, drop a review on your way out!


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